What I am about to say is as shocking to me as I am certain it will be to my daughters: In the past 2 days, I straightened the walk-in pantry in my kitchen and cleaned the refrigerator. Actually, 2 refrigerators; we have one in the kitchen and in our laundry room is the one we inherited from our daughter.
I know. This sort of thing–willingly taking on 2 of the chores I hate more than grocery shopping, and that’s saying a lot–doesn’t usually happen unless my kids are coming home for the holidays or to visit in the summer. It’s literally a twice a year event, and, furthermore, it never happens when I have worked all day.
I can’t figure out if this is panic cleaning or distraction. But I think it has to do with the fact that I started my liquid diet on Sunday, and I have this need to switch up my routine when I get home (Read: NOT deal with food). It has led to this outbreak of domestic goddessing during the week. ALSO, and this could have something to do with it, I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to write this weekend when my mind is able to be quieter. I have a hard time writing on weeknights because being “on” all day at work takes a lot out of me.
Or, maybe, all this “doing” is because my gastric sleeve surgery is ONE WEEK from tomorrow, and knowing I won’t be able to lift stuff for a while is inspiring action. I’m like a combination of Snow White and a tornado when I get home late afternoons. This kind of feels like when I used to keep myself super-busy as a way of managing my anxiety, back in the day when I was going through recovery from CSA. I’m not sure… but I think my closet may even get cleaned, if I’m not careful…
This time next week, I will be at my daughter’s apartment in Dallas, because I have to be at the hospital no later than 5:15 A.M. on Thursday, March 8, which is also my 52nd birthday. I imagine we’ll have a really wild evening as I consume clear fluids and she consumes wine.
The only thing I’m nervous about right now is, the money I cobbled together is not yet in my account–I borrowed against some savings I had–and I go in on Monday for my presurgical assessment and to drop off a money order at the surgeon’s office. This, you may recall from a previous post, is because I did not realize that I had a 5,000.00 coinsurance payment in addition to meeting my deductible. I have managed to meet every single challenge to having this done, head-on, and the money being there is what I sense is the last hurdle to clear to have this definitely happen. I’m trying so hard not to freak out and also, would anyone like to buy a kidney, just in case?
I am woman. Hear me roar. And drink my meals.
At first, I wasn’t sure I could make this liquid stage, which is supposed to be harder pre-surgery since one still has a full-sized stomach. But I’m just drawing on my endless well of perseverance and determination, so I’m doing okay.
One week away.