It begins, and so do “hope bubbles.”

Today–well, yesterday–I’m awake and compelled to write, so here goes–I began the process of scheduling the series of “have-to’s” to qualify for gastric sleeve surgery.
First, a sleep study–I must prove to Aetna that I have sleep apnea, because that is the only one of the 4 “comorbidities” I possess that compels them to agree to pay for gastric sleeve. The surgeon’s office has to send them orders in order to schedule it. That’s the way most of the appointments work, and I have to say, Dr. Malladi’s office has got it goin’ on in that department–24 hours after I met with her, her staff is already working to help me meet these requirements. Same thing with the the gastroenterologist to schedule an Upper GI “Swallow Study”, and her office also contacted my primary care physician’s office to get a copy of my latest EKG. Luckily, I can have these things done locally.
I also scheduled a required fitness test. I predict the results to be dubious at best.
I used to do an hour a day on the treadmill, with it slanted to be UPHILL all the way. I did 5K races in Dallas- and loved it. I had an elliptical, too, and my body was strong and I could feel my muscles and I loved it SO MUCH.
Then my feet let me know, “Hey, there. We’re not into this, and just to show you HOW much we are not into this, we’re going to develop problems that will leave you essentially crippled until you, at a later date, have surgery on us that will leave you unable to run.”

I was in pain, and I became depressed, and I turned to my drug of choice: food.

Over time, my feet have healed enough that I can take my dogs for a walk. I can even wear non-athletic shoes now, for at least limited spurts of time. This is something I couldn’t do before.
I still have other issues–like intractable migraines triggered by exertion–that preclude really enthusiastic gettin’ after it like I used to, but I have hope. Know why?
I met a lady at Dr. Malladi’s office who was 7 weeks post-surgery. She told me that she used to take 23 medications, and now she takes just 3, AND that she used to have migraines, and she DOES NOT HAVE THEM ANY MORE. It made me think: I’ve had headaches all my life, but they did not become AWFUL until I gained a lot of weight in the last few years.
Maybe that can happen for me, too. Maybe I can be freed from the medication I take 3 times a day that also causes carb cravings. I’ve also had 2 Botox treatments for migraine. I’m waiting for the latest treatment to kick in. It’s worrying me a little that after 10 days, I’m still getting pretty severe headaches. That wasn’t the case with the first treatment.

Also, I keep thinking about the 3 huge tubs of my smaller clothes that I have in the corner of my bedroom. I’ve refused to get rid of them, all this time. They range from sizes 6 – 14, and I suppose I could look at them as representing a progression of relapse, or, perhaps, I can think of them differently once I can get into them again. Oh- one more thing about Aetna’s requirements: I CANNOT GAIN ANY WEIGHT from the day I met with the surgeon & weighed in. Once a month I’ll get weighed in at the hospital’s nutritionist.

At any rate, I have